lonely kid

moody swing swing swing

2007-02-03T22:45:00.000+08:00

i know my mood just simply swing too much....too much since my bday.....hmm.....sry if offended anyone just leave me alone....i guess i ll be alright soon...i m jst swinging for nothing.....if you are reading this i know you care.. sry if words are just offensive but ya......i m just mad with myself...noboday else...perhaps just leave me alone for few days ba....i still wont die i guess....not that earger to die yet...i guess...drink dont solve any of my problems but then i m just so addicted to drinking cause they just make me so numb......so numb that i can only think about slping and nth else...just so dead.....so dead so dead....

bIrThDAy....

2007-01-30T22:45:00.000+08:00

2 more days is my BIG day....BIRTHDAY!!!hmmm....dont know somehow or rather i realised that bday has alway been a days that go so fast n simple...most of my bday nth much without a large celebration or wat thats usually how i pass my birthday....believe or not i had the "largest and most fun" bday last year....oh yea!!! really pretty weird about this day.....the day i was born........hmm perhap i just dont realli rememeber bday that well cause i nv had a realli supprising bday :) anyway i guess bday isnt that big also......haha y am i talking about bday in such a sudden.....seeing everyone has their own celebration sometimes make me really envy realli......perhaps i just dont have friends that remember much about these very special day about me ba......thanks in advance for those who remember as for those who dont its okay cause you will just remember when you see other greet me.....

-2 more damm days n i ll have 1 more year of troubles-

mood swing bad

2007-01-28T12:00:00.000+08:00

had mood swings these few day....dont realli wann talk to anyone online.....wann have sometime alone.....hmm.. just sry to ele .......i m alright but just dont wann conversation....just dont have mood to talk as well ....wish all of you the best....take carez

posting another blog

2007-01-27T12:22:00.000+08:00

hmm....didnt been updating my other blog.,....didnt wann write too much...nth to write about as well....i guess i m just quite happy to knwo that everyone is just doing with things ba...maybe i just dont make alot of difference being around :) better that i m not around.....bday is coming.....just waiting for things to happen...see how are things going to be like ba....guess this is just life....life.........
i miss........

my 1st try photo

2006-11-12T13:04:00.000+08:00

oh gosh this is how my room look like now

UNTIDY.......!!!!!

hi

2006-09-18T21:12:00.000+08:00

hope i change can work

stressful week

2006-08-30T22:59:00.000+08:00

reading what was left out

2006-08-26T20:52:00.000+08:00

hmmm......tired......stress......y do i feel so stress at this point of time.....hmm.......not idea....just tired ba perhaps....read wat you write.....understood wat you were saying and meaning le .....should have guess it long ago......sry to have made you so hurtful.....know you just dont wann hurt anyone n be truthful....take care ba all i have to you....just hope you are happy sry to force to the extend.....didnt mean to :( but i know....i m ready for that answer n all.....Dont hate you ba......i wont....just sad thats all...i onli know i love you too much to hate you n all........i just concern thats all....sry if it make you tink back the pass sry it made you think so much.....sry it just made you have nightmares.....

STRESS!!!

2006-08-26T00:51:00.000+08:00

hmm...this weeks is a stressful week eh......tired......stress.....lost.........so sian......i just had a bad week.....going through more n more shit from all.....i hate this life i m going through.....args.....!!!!! so stress can.....!!!!!hmm......talk to mami felt better....perhaps i just have to be a bit more hard working ba.....tired.....so sian.....came home saw all your nicks....seems that things go wrong again.....hmm.....should i help should i help by just talking to all of you ??? Dont know .....Tired le wann break n rest.......*sMoKed*....said i hate smoknig but y am i still.......dont know perhaps its the feeling ba.....felt better.....hmm dont know y......i m realli tired......hope everything will be fine eventually ba.....i guess sometimes things you just have to learn from the hard way lo....see all the ppl so easy kana extra....like so sian....scare one day i will get also .....mayba will ba just a matter of time...so scare.....working in fear.....how am i suppose to produce gd result when i m working in fear.......need to sort out this kinda feeling....hmmmm.....maybe NS will make me more productive ba......I CANT WORK UNDER STRESS :(....

leaving.....realli

2006-08-20T19:52:00.000+08:00

hmm.....Had a chance to talk to all of them today basically for most of them : ) had a fun chat with them haha....laughing n all knowing that everyone is alright :) they are all doing fine wor.....quite happy actually i think....for certain i think i m prepared to leave le......this time....depart with all this pp......looking over at somewhere ba but going to leave all of them n get going ba......hmmm cruel ? i dont know but for something i knwo i need to leave.....bring everything away with me also.....hope you all can get up with your things ba can cope with your problems n all.....i think i had a nice time talking to all of you ppl basically it made my day so nice brighten me so much.......dont knw i know i have to leave cause of you....n i know now if there is you there cant be me so i choose to have you rather then me.....rather then me there with the rest i rather you be there with them.....selfish....lonely.....these are all the names i m prepared to take prepared to get......sorry to the rest that i had to lied my way through but i know i just wann her to be happy.....you wont be seeing all this.....all this thats inside me no one in fact will know........me n onli me.......sorry to those i have to give up on casue i know i can nv help everyone......anyone ........hmmm.....certainly felt abit sad to leave but i know ill make it this time ba......i hope so.....you will be happy without the presence of me............wish you all the best......as well as all of you out there also...AlL ThE BeSt....

away

2006-08-20T01:00:00.000+08:00

hmm....away for the whole day nv online chat with sch ppl........getting more n more use to it le leaving them hopefully make that learn more from life ba learn from each other learn how to love each other more take care of each other.....learn to know how each other is thinking n concern for them i certainly know that i m doing something quite right.....at least i not sorry for wat i do this time looking at all of them.....i also know they are in trouble.......at least for all of you some of you ba i know you all just need ppl around there will alway be ppl there for you all esp you........so i guess wheather i m there or not it makes no diff actually closing down all my blog makes me feel somehow better at time at least i knw all of you wont be bother with my stuff anymore.........i simple see all of ya i miss all of ya actually ......realli deep inside....i miss the whole lot of you ppl.......take care thats all i can say ba..................................*forgotten memories*

looking over all of you at a corner..........:)

AGM

2006-08-17T12:56:00.000+08:00

hmm......Its was their AGM last nite n so many updates on AGM hehe....guess they had a fun time there ba dont realli think i wann go actually.....i guess no a place for me.....tired of INTSC.....hope you all can work hard n carry on a gd work next year ba....hope you all are happy thats my wish for INTSC ....cause INTSC had many memories that stays....its hard to understand the feeling last nite when i felt like going but i know for certain my heart ask me to stay in the office.......saw wat you wrote.....certain know u think n feel....i guess the person who understand you the most is the person you are willing to tell the most ba.....glad you know who you wann tell ba......i m tired.....i know you are too.....i certain just care......i know. Go with who you are comfortable with ba....Maybe i realli dont understand you ba maybe you just feel so uncertain about things with me...maybe you just had a diff images of me...that doesnt matter anymore....reali...i just wish you are happy....maybe he just understand you more then i do.........though i know i cant help giving up those memories i certainly will try.............disppearing might be the best for both of us ba.......i guess i interupted your life enough le..............i dont know certain i had stupid thinking of letting you go letting you go with whoever that will come in your life whoever you wann be with........or even be with him...........i also know i have to give up alot of things....i just hope you are happy thats all hope i not selfish for not tell anyone anything i m just sorry to everyone that i m like that..........

*wIsH yOu HaPpY*

Post for you all

2006-08-12T23:28:00.000+08:00

guess its a few months le ba enter army...write stuff preparing to blog on 1 sep ba hmm....hoping all of you get to see n understand :) guess thats all i have to say ba all i have to tell you ppl :) nth much getting more and more use to life moving ahead....

another week

2006-08-11T23:24:00.000+08:00

hmm.....another wks has gone....hmm....tired....came back with a loadful mind didnt realli slp well this wk in camp actually...came home went back 1 time do duty clerk...had a gd exp learn a number of things actually hmm...guess all lo nth much la actually....dont wann blog on my main blog as well....dont know wat to say...hmm tired ba i guess nth much hope time pass abit faster....at the same time also dont know wat to do ...didnt reali felt nice when i was lectured by S1 but after coming back from 9 div okay le....izzit i m too opitimistic...i dont know....sian....Dont wan you to know anything now......everyone is around you now n i guess you are kinda happy about things ba....thats gd for you......return everyone to you le...i guess......Dont know how am i feeling at the moment now..............k le leaving for now....

LoNg WaLk

2006-08-09T01:13:00.000+08:00

hmm just back.....felt like walking to this sad place so took awalk hmm....perhaps a walk later feeling not bad..dont wann fa pi qi so went off...yap ..too a puff and drink...tsk tsk getting to be more n more worst...hope i m not getting any worst ba very tired.....just tired of everything now ba i guess....no one will see this i guess i dont wann anyone to see as well...maybe i m selfish ba maybe i tired ba maybe i just wann blog this blog that onli me n onli me can see....Dont realli wan ppl to worry also...tired of explaining things as well..hope i m getting use to everything ba....knowing that i ll be lonely i know the other side of you will be safe n happy i rather keep it this way lo....since i dont have any rights to know anything about you....not like in the pass that i can care........i m leave with not choice at all in this....hmm...dont wann bother you ...dont wann irritate you also just wann you to be on the other side not thinking n be happy...knowing what you are thinking i know i m just intrupting your life...thats all i felt from the last moment i speak to you on the phone....i certain knew i was dead.....i cross the line again i guess or maybe i just did something that i can never change again...tired n thinking back....hate ma life......
sorry........

think back time

2006-08-08T19:29:00.000+08:00

Able to come back today.....didnt know i can come back today for "celebration" ..thought everyone will be back onli for me i ll be tere to do duty. Was there for 1 nite...that nite that i could feel something the nite that i could feel lonely i knew i m gona get use to it one day ba just a matter of time...looking at you able to clink with your friends so well i felt happy....I guess i took everyone from you ba...now i return all of them to you...hope you are happy with them hope they also love you as you love them ba..... I ll know how much i miss you n i have to leave the pic to do that....To give all of them back to you...this is life its like a cycle with everyone gets back alone they go back to their friends n stay in there.......i doing fine ba i guess....maybe someday we will get to understand each other maybe we will nv get to understand forever....just hope you fine and hope for the very best for you....thought i know i cant let things go but i also know for certain that things are not going on my way.....i know you are just happy with your friends not seeing me no knowing anything about me....maybe thats wats make you happy ba....ni kai xin jiu hao.............i guess everyone is meeting each other for national day ba...i ll be alone at home with my family n all..hmm + i think i ll see alot of friends online n all but then i guess i dont belong to them afterall.......i know for sure they will be chatting in their world....in their world without me..........=gOnE=

new post in new blog

2006-08-06T20:08:00.000+08:00

hmmm.....this is a new post form for this new blog.....i guess no body will ever know this new blog address ba created just to write about my feelings throughout the days no one will see this lonely n meanless blog.....i just wann express everything here so that one day i look back i'll know that i had some memories that brings sadness.........